The Beginning of Letting Go

The lazy days of summer have begun, and recent days have been wonderfully pleasant. Two old friends from my days on an old Usenet group with my fellow "gen-xers" breezed into town this week and we all met up in Kensington market yesterday for great food and wonderful company. This is the newsgroup where I met my husband more than 15 years ago, and it is quite charming to meet up with people who were then young(er) and just starting out in the world- all these years later, most of us are settled, whether this means houses, spouses, children, and proper careers. What a world of difference time can make.

The other big change here is the arrival of what we affectionately call the California crew, our dear friends who spend every July here basking in the warmth of one of the best summer seasons on the planet. For whatever frost and snow winter might deliver to us for long months at a time, there is nothing more glorious than a Canadian summer, hot and humid and largely spent on patios, decks, pools, and private or public lawns in the city, or, for those who get away to the cottage areas just north of here, at the foot of one of hundreds of lakes. I am rolling into summer a bit differently this year, because, unlike my other teacher colleagues, I am not going back to work in the fall; rather, I will be taking the year off to enjoy my first sabbatical.

What are you going to do? This seemed to be the question of the day for friends and parents, and curious colleagues. More times than I care to mention, the list changed over the last 4 years, from wanting to work on the rebuilding of Haiti (too dangerous, still, and maybe a little arrogant) to travelling for most of the year (too expensive, still). My volunteer options have ranged from driving cancer patients to their appointments to walking local shelter dogs to taking my own canine to seniors' residences to cheer them up. I am still working that one out, and walking will likely edge out driving, which I thoroughly hate to do.

I am still hellbent on adding guitar playing to my musical skills, and can't wait to dig into finishing Empty Glass and 19 000 Days, both of which are at least 75% done and were waiting for a proper block of time to get wrapped up properly. I am also going to delve into e-publishing for Behind Blue Eyes, finally, perhaps after trying one last time to get an agent. My sense now seems to be that the publishing world is turning on its ear the way mp3s and the download revolution changed the music industry forever, and that it might be a brave new world out there too.

One last big plan- retooling the body, which is softer than it was before I ripped my right shoulder and froze myself out of my favourite sports activities. I am back on the tennis court, can downward dog almost perfectly again, and am looking forward to finding the hours to tighten and lessen everything below the head. There is a public recreation centre close by, where I have gone to aquafit classes for the last 2 years, and they offer dance and gym classes during the day. I will also be able to simultaneously spoil the dog with daily runs at the off-leash park and tone myself with the walk there and back.

As for the rest of the time, whatever might be left of it not devoted to these "plans", the idea is to let go, and do nothing more pressing than muck about in the garden, read, or go catch a coffee with a long-neglected old friend. There will be a few trips, and I am still clinging to the notion of a Caribbean beach in winter and Italy in the spring, but I am mostly looking forward to the gift of time.