Giving Thanks

Unlike our American neighbours, we here in Canada celebrate Thanksgiving early on in October; our harvest time is earlier and we desperately want to pack in the fun before it snows and we get cabin-bound until April. The last bit is an exaggeration, but just barely some years. This year, for the first time in ages, there will be no family feast this long weekend; no one has fallen out but we've postponed getting together for a week due to a family birthday and my oldest brother being out of town. It's a strange turn of events, but as a vegetarian, I'm not lamenting the loss of smelling a cooked turkey (it's vile, to be frank!) and as an overwhelmed teacher, I'm grateful for the added time to catch up on piles of papers I need to grade.

Gratitude. It's one of those words that gets bandied about so much these days that I'm loathe to use it, but this year, I feel especially thankful. I'm here, I'm in one piece, and I am fairly settled and working my way back to feeling content with life. Everything isn't perfectly in place, mind you, but that's okay too: those pounds I put on over the last six months being too miserable at work and stressed beyond belief to exercise and eat reasonably are starting to come off as I recapture my fitness routine and my energy, and the demands of my new job are beginning to wane as I get used to it and find a system I can manage.

What exactly am I thankful for, in a year that was largely defined by the evaporation of two close female friendships and a deteriorating work situation? First, there is my husband, who is undoubtedly the kindest person I have ever known and the main reason I didn't give up on myself. When I felt I had nothing left to hold onto, he was there, hanging on with me and giving me sound advice and hope. Just leave, he said. When something stops working, you need to leave it behind. He was wise, calm, and gently supportive of all my decisions but more importantly, he was understanding of the terrible mistakes I made along the way. If I'd listened to him sooner, I would have also avoided impatient and unfair exchanges with another friend. I've forgiven myself for my part in things that went wrong this year, but I know that I would have been lost had he not been there for me.

                                   The love of my life. I will admit to being very jealous of his hair.


I am thankful for the support and affection of wonderful friends and family both near and far. The laughter, banter, and conversations that I had over drinks, food, and sometimes over the Internet kept me afloat in what was a turbulent, emotional year. I was not always rational and often took myself and those around me on a wild, roller-coaster ride of menopausal overreactions and angst, so thank you to those of you who humoured me or indulged me when I was an emotional twit, and also listened and empathized when I was a mess. I'm all better now, I swear.

I'm thankful for the music I discovered this year, because it gave me a refuge from the world when I got overwhelmed and too sad when the going got tough in the spring. Ed Sheeran, Simon Neil, Frank Turner, Marcus Mumford, Mike Rosenberg—thank you for writing songs that I could connect with and find hope in when I feared I would drown.

                                     Three of the records that I've listened to repeatedly this year.

I am thankful for Whiskey, Creemore, Sirius, and Pandora, who fill me with unconditional love every day. There is something so pure in the love of an animal, and I am quite fortunate that there are four of them in my life to keep me warm and calm.

                                          Creemore never gets tired of giving me her love.

I am thankful for my sister, who continues to support me even though she does not always approve of my choices and decisions. What I love the most about her is her frankness and her unwillingness to tell me anything other than the truth. Sometimes, what comes out of her mouth is a home truth, but this is one of the many reasons I love her to death and have trusted her all her life. She is smart and generous, and she always has my back, even when she is shaking her head at some of the situations I get into.

                                                     My beautiful sister. Love her to bits.

I am thankful that I was able to get away this year when the going got too tough to stay home. I found solace in New York City on the very day the school year ended and I was ready to break down; I will never forget the kindness of my hosts during the four-day getaway, and I hope to someday return the favour and show them this great city I live in. The time in New York was healing, and something so simple as spending the day on the beach at Coney Island allowed me to forget the preceding months and look forward to the summer.

I came across this at Coney Island during my beach day. Perfectly summed up my NYC weekend.

And then there is Scotland. I've likely made everyone sick of hearing about that trip, because who can actually believe that there is a place on Earth with such a hold over me that it can take my broken spirit and nurture it back to health not once but twice in a lifetime? I'm not the least bit religious, but there is something about this country that I cannot explain except in a way that could only be labelled magical or miraculous. Our second time there was no different than in 2001, when I was crushed by my father's death, with one big exception: we had friends to be with this time around, wonderful, silly pals who gave us banter and laughter, and also generously went out of their way for us in ways that truly humbled. There were concerts, football, coffees, ciders, meals, long drives and serendipitous meet-ups that left a big impression on my heart and reminded me that #realfriends were more than just a running gag online. There was such kindness and affection from the people we met that I know we will be back there again soon.

I love this photo because Michaela and I were photobombed by two random Glasgow lads.

Dumfries and Galloway Forest Park in the southwest of Scotland.

To those of you who helped me get through this year, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have nothing but love, respect, and admiration for each and every one of you, and I am very grateful that you took the time to demonstrate such kindness and patience towards me. I hope you recognize yourselves in this post, and that the world treat you as kindly in return. You all deserve no less. Happy Thanksgiving.